Pink Kashmir scarf with fringe. A gift from a friend who shared a similar cultural background to myself where you could not always admit you were different but wanted to be able show your identity in a way that was important to you. We both knew Pink was a colour that was associated with PRIDE and it was she who gave me the scarf to tell my story but hidden in plain sight.

Interview with Ludo Foster for Queer in Brighton Oral History Project 2012-2014 (12 Dec. 2012), interviewed by Heather. Short Q&A with Ludo Foster about identity, origin, labels and social spheres. Interview with gender-fluid, , reflecting on identity, spaces. Ludo speaks about gender identity, gender fluidity and of being a transmasculine person of colour living in Brighton in 2010s. Discussion about reasons for relocating to Brighton, impressions before and after moving, day/nightlife in Brighton and academic life at University of Sussex. Discussion about gender expression, gendered assumptions, being transmasculine and transitioning at work and with family. Discussion about the bureaucracy of transition, trans rites of passage and milestones, and changes to which queer & straight spaces are welcoming or unwelcoming when coming out as transmasculine, ties between lesbian and FTM communities. Discussion about challenges of dating like pubs/clubs, gender identity, how potential partners perceive you, the safety and separation/privacy of the internet, online dating not being designed for trans people. Original audio (in two parts), transcript and consent form included.

One of the most important intense interests is following the Welsh band the Manic Street Preachers. Within them I unknowingly found a queer community and a disability community. It’s started with just liking the music, buying CDs from Our Price with money made from babysitting at £2 an hour. The band particularly missing guitarist/lyricist Richey Edwards; openly talked about mental health and what we would look back now as neurodivergence. Bassist Nicky Wire would dress androgynously on stage with glitter, skirts, feather boa and tiara. He wrote one song with lyrics “I wish I had been born a girl”. Despite all members of the band being straight white men, in a world with zero queer visibility, this was the queerness I could access. (Watch Loves Sweet Exile video!) Through internet forums I met other fans, we would meet hours before shows and queue to get to the front. Once I queued over night and other times we had parties with tea and cake. I am still friends with some of these people, 25 years later. This photo was taken at Brighton Centre 12/12/02, the first time I saw them live, taken on a cheap film camera.

Poster for trans pride season featuring Alok Vaid-Menon at the Marlborough Pub & Theatre in July 2018 Image of poet & performer Alok Vaid-Menon